Engagement Rings. it’s a tradition dating back to the ancient Egyptians, who believed circles were symbols of eternity. However, the first documented use of the engagement ring can only be reliably traced as far back as ancient Rome and is a tradition believed to have represented purchase and ownership of the bride (romantic, right).
I am part of the minority group of women who knew the proposal was coming because... wait for it... I picked my own engagement ring *gasp*! To my surprise I got a lot of shocked reactions when the topic of the ring would come up and I would tell them I designed it myself. When you're engaged, especially newly engaged, the ring topic comes up A LOT.
Here are the reason I picked my own engagement ring and why I don't feel like I missed out on anything
"If he knows me he'll know what I'd like."
We've all heard this one before right? Or maybe something like "If he dosent know what I'd like, I don't want to marry him." Other than that being kinda harsh, I get it. The person you're about to spend the rest of your life with, God willing, should know you. He should know your likes and dislikes and be able to pay attention to the kind of girl you are! Here's the thing about me and maybe some of you... my husband knew me well enough to know I would want to choose the one peace of jewelry I would have to wear forever. So when that time came he was smart enough to bring me to the jeweler and honestly I was ecstatic!
I got exactly what I wanted
Before marriage was realistically on the table I had a pretty good idea of what my wedding day would be like. And of course where there is a wedding, there has to be a ring! As someone who never really wears jewelry, the one piece I'd have to wear for the rest of my life would have to scream Shay. I knew I didn't want a diamond ring, diamonds arn't this girls best friend. I wanted a ring that was intricate and interesting and with a little help from Pintrest I knew what I liked but how was my future husband supposed to know? Send him a link to my wedding board with a little wink and nudge? I mean, maybe...
We found my ring at a jewelry show where I got to piece together the perfect Shay ring. Rose gold with a diamond halo and a champagne sapphire center. I love everything about it.
The big reveal wasn't all that important to me
I don't feel like I missed out on the surprise of getting engaged at all. I pretty much always knew marriage was on the horizon. Zack and I both believe in dating with the intent of marriage. If we couldn't see ourselves together long term then we would have ended things shortly after getting to know each other. [side note: there's no sense in keeping someone who isn't yours. If you don't feel like the relationship will end in marriage, let them go so they can find the person they will end up with and you go find your one and only.] Anyway, since we custom built the ring I didn't get to see it finished until he got down on one knee. There was also a few weeks between the time of the jewelry show and the time the ring was ready to be picked up. So the actual proposal was still a surprise for me. Win win.
We had to get used to talking openly about finances. Might as well start now
Something that is over looked when in the middle of wedding planning bliss and day dreaming about happily ever after is money. As two different people I'd bet you have two different ideas of how budgeting and finances will be handled once you tie the knot. I know my husband and I did (and still do). By being part of the ring process we got to exercise this communication muscle early on. It really helped to get us on the same page moving forward into the wedding planning process and now, life.
I don't want to ever feel pressured to do something just because it's the way everyone else does it and you shouldn't either! So if you want a say in the ring, go ahead and say it. There is no rule that says it HAS to be a surprise.